Confiding in a mirror..

(Wow. Third post so far today! I bet I am not going to keep up this activeness for much longer… >.>)

So, the other day, right after I had finished brushing my teeth with a special orthopedic (sp?) toothbrush.. after washing my face.. after my skincare regime.. I thought up a quote – and I think it is a quote that actually works, or makes sense.

Just a note: I don’t /really/ only confide in a mirror. It really only means that a mirror is the only friend that I confide in, as I don’t feel confiding in my real friends would help.

“I only confide into my bathroom mirror, because the only person who can answer back to me – is me, and I am the only person who would really care not to misinterpret things.. to tell other people..”

It came from the fact that the last 4 weeks of school (first week of Easter holidays just now) have pretty much ended up in a pit of disaster, mainly because of one of my friends who I became close to after walking to school with her every day since the start of high school.

I’m just going to explain what has happened:

Me and Sakura* (*not her real name, but for safety purposes.. and I like that name anyway :)) So, 6 weeks ago, on the weekend, I spent a lot of time with Sakura and my close friend Jennifer*, in fact, it was Friday, Saturday and Sunday I saw them both. At that point I noticed something fishy was going on, they were practically best buddies (in S1 they didn’t like each other very much) and I felt a kind of.. strangeness vibe coming from them. Two weeks later, walking to school with Sakura (Jennifer doesn’t walk to school with us)  she was very different. Hardly talking, and when I tried to start a conversation she kinda stopped it in its tracks. Over the course of the 4 weeks she explained to me that she and Jennifer thought I overreacted and cried too much and tried to be the best at everything, but if I wasn’t the best, I went in a huff. But on some days in those 4 weeks, she would be normal – just like her normal self, and I was relieved! But then it would go back again nearly the next day.. and I started to worry. I thought that perhaps, maybe Jennifer had told Sakura things about me, but Jennifer seemed kind of fine around me – nearly, better, so it couldn’t have been that. And the 3rd week, Sakura said to me to leave later for her house because I was arriving too early, which I thought was a bit of an exaggeration, but I went with it anyway (it gave me a couple more minutes to get ready, which is ok, hehe) – but lo and behold, I have ended up late to school more than a few times now (I hadn’t been late for the last 2 days of term though, so I think it is getting better :D).

I am just really worried about Sakura.. is she alright? What have I done? How can it be me? I want Jennifer to stay at what she is at the moment, as well.

I know I shouldn’t be think it’s me.. but.. how else COULD it be?? I just need to think positively, because I know in the end it will all hopefully fix back together again, back to what it was.. but, I really want it to fix NOW.


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